Talk Is Not Cheap
I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of peace on earth, especially after the recent shooting tragedies. I’ve been thinking about how acts of hate and violence can be sparked by words—by unsatisfying and hateful conversations. Our language is full of clichés on this topic.
Fights begin with, “Fighting Words.”
And, “Loose lips sink ships.”
I was raised with the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I don’t believe that anymore. Words have the power to hurt, and even worse, to kill. And as much as I believe that, I believe the opposite is true, too. Words have the power to build, to encourage, and to grow. After all, wars are ended with, “Peace Talks.”
For the second time, I am reading the book, Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time, by Susan Scott (http://www.fierceinc.com/leadership-books). The overriding questions Scott asks are: How honest are you? Are you honest in every conversation? What kind of emotional wake do you leave behind each conversation? Scott writes that conversations that speak directly, yet honestly, and produce positive results without destroying each other are fierce conversations.
The information is all common sense—if you can think of it when you need it. And, this is why I’m reading Fierce Conversations again; I need to be reminded that the conversation is the relationship. Fierce conversations ask tough questions that build bridges and solve problems. Fierce conversations require all participants to be totally committed to the process. Talk definitely isn’t cheap.
I want to be committed to conversations.
Scott writes that if you are vulnerable, honest, and brave, the other person will respond in kind. But what if that person doesn’t? You probably don’t want to work/live/befriend (you fill in the blank) with that person, anyway. But, how a person responds is not your responsibility—you can only uphold and honor your end of the conversation. Fierce conversations also demand that we are great listeners.
I need to listen a lot.
A friend on Facebook posted an inspirational caption, the other day, which echoes Susan Scott’s message in, Fierce Conversations. It read, “Be kind to one another, even if you disagree on stuff.” There is room in our world (cubicles, offices, homes, relationships, and lives) to bravely engage in the tough conversation and to come out with stronger relationships on the other side. I believe this is the formula for ending gossip and division in every area of life. This can happen, as Scott writes, “One conversation at a time.”
I’m taking responsibility in my little corner of the world. In the words of a holiday song, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”
Happy Holidays!
